Globe Runner blog

Here they come! Women, and it’s almost always women I’m afraid, women of all ages, shapes and sizes teetering towards me, walkman in one hand and water bottle in the other. Clutching them as if they would die of thirst and boredom, should they slip from their desperate grip.

With the London Marathon fast approaching on the event horizon, the hordes of walkmanandwater-carriers are popping up like daffodils across parkland all over the country.

And they still carry water on those days when it’s freezing. And some of them are litre bottles, whose weight alone is sufficient to throw your stride out. And what is it with the walkman or i-pod or whatever? I’ve even seen women on dark nights in secluded places wearing them, as if it isn’t dangerous enough not being able to hear traffic properly! What is going on? Are these items so firmly on the list of fashion accessories that you wouldn’t be seen dead, or alive, without them?

I started running and competing well before the jogging boom of the late seventies and early eighties got underway. Back then, it was normal to be barracked on the street or in the park, and not only by schoolkids. But ever since fun-running became as widespread as dogshit in the nation’s parks, I’ve had to get used to next door’s granny knowing more about distance running than me.

Don’t get me wrong, this is not the seasoned runner’s equivalent of nimby-ism. I think it’s terrific that people exercise, including running, and I’m always happy to offer tips and advice, like ‘don’t run a marathon until you’ve trained for at least a year’. But what’s with the walkman and water bottle?

Even if you’re running for more than an hour, all you need is a good gulp of water before you go out, and a thirst-slaking slurp when you get back in. And most parks have got water-fountains if you absolutely need to top up while you’re out. And as for the piped music. Notwithstanding the safety issues mentioned above, and the benefit of good running form and equilibrium, what’s wrong with tuning into the sounds of the city, or even better, the countryside, if that’s where you’re fortunate enough to be trotting? If you find running so boring you need a band to set the rythm for you, maybe you should be sweating it out in a club.

And don’t get me started on running machines! I was once stretching in the New York Athletic Club gym, prior to a sundrenched springtime run across the street in Central Park, when I spotted a battalion of people lined up on jogging machines, in front of the windows (overlooking the park), being drip-fed music while they watched videos, for God’s sake.

And that’s not the end of it. What little success British athletes can boast at Olympics or world championships nowadays, none is in the middle distances, where Britannia used to dominate as readily as she ruled the water-bottles, erm, waves. And you know what’s to blame for this parlous state of affairs? Do I hear, fun-running? Correct!

Because nobody takes running seriously anymore. When those first fun-runners started invading the running clubs of Britain, they were, inevitably welcomed like a warm tracksuit on a cold night. But then what happened? People who didn’t have a clue about proper training suddenly became the majority, and the clubs gradually turned into jogging clubs. Twenty five years later, how can the club elders, who barely broke sweat in their competitive lives pass on proper training advice to young hopefuls, other than, ‘keep your water bottle full, and your batteries charged’? My pal Andy, who’s been running almost as long as me tells me that the majority of folks in his Sunday morning training group on Hampstead Heath refuse to run through mud. And don’t talk to me about Hampstead softies! Some of the hardest men who ever broke wind, so to speak - men like world record holder Dave Bedford, or London Marathon winner Hugh Jones -  trained, and still train regularly on the Heath.

There’s nothing better for marathon running. Cross country in winter strengthens both legs and resolve, so that when you go back to running on smooth road surfaces you find it so much easier. What’s more, you go quicker, surely the object of the exercise. Who wants to run a four hour marathon when they could do it in three and half, and boast of the big improvement to the slugs back in the office? And what about two hours, 15 minutes, 25 seconds? That’s what Paula Radcliffe has done. And you’ve never seen Radcliffe training with anything other than resolve in her eyes, and nothing but gloves on her hands. So women, jettison the water bottles, and give the walkman back to the boyfriend, as he stews on the couch, watching the footie. And let’s have some serious running in London in April.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 18th, 2009 at 4:40 pm and is filed under Archive. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.